I MISS HER

It’s the first of July today.

She’s been in the hospital for 2 months plus already, nearing to 3 months. 

I feel so helpless, not being able to do anything.

I miss her so badly.

As much as I want her to talk to me and nag at me again, she can’t anymore. 

She’s in ICU, relying heavily on machine to help her breathe and on strong painkiller to take away the pain, causing her to be in a drowsy stage where she no longer recognise us whenever we visit her.

Her eyeball no longer move much, she non-responsive like a vegetable and all she do it to able her eyes and stare in space.

It’s really saddening to see her in such stage, the healthy and once-naggy grandma who have been my playmate, my companion and my chef no longer response to me.

Doctors aren’t optimistic about her condition and she is losing a considerable huge percentage of the lungs function.

Also, if grandma’s condition should not improve within this week, they might just let her go.

They say that letting her go will relief her pain, but I love her so much, I can’t bear to let her go.

Seeing her breathe is what makes me feel that there is someone who loves me…

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