I rarely goes into the topic of relationship because I don’t see the need to, since relationship is something that hasn’t been my interest until lately when things start rising and the annoying pressure you get from both sides of my families and sometimes even friends.
Often, I see those poor guys complaining about how pitiful they are when they have to be on a near 24 hours standby for their girlfriends reporting about their status, GPS location, activity and surroundings. Also, there are those girlfriends who would demand alot from their boyfriend and that they would choose to prioritize meeting their boyfriends over meeting their girlfriends and despite the poor guy becoming cold to them, the girls never understood why. The reason being simple, they are tying them down too tight.
I know I am in no right to say about relationship problems because I have never officially been into a relationship where the guy pops up with the “Will You Be My Girlfriend” question, but then again, there’s always dates and the period where “he woos and he fails” part. I have the experience where you started to be fond of a guy and that his presence is like the sunshine, the rainbow and the moment he is with you is like a pot of gold, you longed for his presence and extremely excited to know what is he doing and hearing his voice melts your heart.
Maybe I am a little too over the edge, but you kind of get my point. You want to spend every moment of your life with him and then everything else comes next. He revolves around your life and daily activities, so much so that you are dependent on him and that if he were to be missing for a day, no, maybe an hour, your world would go completely upside down, topsy-turvy.
Putting yourself in his shoes, he may be wiling to spend quality time with you, be a fine gentleman by helping you in all those tiny little details such as carrying your heavy baggage or perhaps getting you your favourite food or items that you eyed on the other day when you were shopping together. Neither would he mind about you wanting to spend time with him everyday and that daily contact or hourly contact which is a must-do.
I used to imagine what if one day I had a boyfriend and that maybe I shouldn’t be in the footsteps of my girlfriends because after all, he is someone I love and that restricting him would be like ripping off his freedom, then he would be unhappy and so would I. (Maybe I am a little silly, which most guys think I am, because they felt that this wasn’t care, it was more like pushing them away.) No, to me, giving them a freedom is what I feel they deserve because relationship should be a two way thing and that it shouldn’t affect his daily routine much such as his usual gatherings with his friends, brothers or clique.
This are the 5 main things that I think should be appropriate in my relationship:
- 1x Quality date per week would do the trick (Distance makes the heart grows fonder…)
- Daily contact is a MUST especially a Morning and Good Night text would do the trick. (I don’t see the point of having to constantly talking with one another every hour, because he has to do his own things, when one is busy, there is no time for texting.)
- Asking of “Where/What/Who/When” of his daily activities should not be done, or maybe once in a while, in case he claims that you don’t care about his well-being. (I would really prefer them telling me, because they would tell if they want to, if they do not, they have their reasons, and I respect that.)
- Never prioritize all your free days for me, just 1 day would do and never sacrifice your outings with your friends/cliques/brothers for me. (Friendship last a lifetime, but relationship doesn’t, I am just thinking ahead, although you would probably say *touch wood* and that I’m nuts.)
- If he does club, he is free to go club without me, but it would be nice if he ask me along, although majority of the time I would not tag along because it’s his time out with his friends or maybe unwind. (Speaking of clubbing, you would think I don’t give a damn about my guy, but think carefully, if honesty and trust is present in your relationship, there is nothing to worry about because he would not do any “wrong” thing for he would always tell you what has happened that night to assure you that he is faithful.)
I know it’s not exhaustive but those are probably my thinking and my idea of how relationship should works. Still no good guys have ever comprehend my reasons for doing so and that they felt that this wasn’t caring for them and much to say loving them, while the bad guys took the opportunity to misuse those freedom that I gave and I ended up getting hurt.
People calls me silly all the time and probably the biggest sotong head you would ever find (sotong = squid = blur). I think that freedom is a right, freedom is something one should deserve and ripping off one’s freedom is not a right thing to do.
Or maybe if I am too silly …