Next Phase in Life

Officially school has started again! The start of a “new” semester with one day of school per week, the ideal lifestyle of what every student longed for, one pathetic day of school. Yes, I’m saying that it’s pathetic because it doesn’t feel like I am a student anymore but rather, some out of place student going back to school to pass that module and get that dumb certificate, maybe not dumb but who actually flunks a module because of project work? Yes, me. The one that does well for exams and tests and yet, flunk project work. I’m a total genius, ain’t I?

ImageSo as for my home, things are about to change within this school term. Grandma’s stomach cancer had spread and she is in the last phrase of her life. TTSH doctor predict her life span of 6months before she kicks the bucket. She is now reduce to bones and skin, looking very fragile and weak. Her IQ dropped tremendously and that she barely could understand what I try to tell her. As much as I dislike how she kept nagging at me everyday over the most tiniest and ridiculous thing at home, somewhat the importance of her presence weight far more than parents. All I could do is to visit her more often and talk to her. Life sucks and sometimes I would wonder what can’t my parents swap place with granny. Granny has done so much more than what my parents did for me. Old age is something not irreversible and that my life journey will soon change without her company.

As for friends, the closest people I have now would probably be Siru and Yunteng, the two who will always be there when I needed them or somewhat to talk to. Like what they always say, you shouldn’t judge friends based on appearance and that the most beautiful people need not be beautiful in the interior as well. Siru and Yunteng may not be a great fashionistas that dresses well and look extremely beautiful in the streets in their outfits or those that are super attractive, but what they have is a great personality, and that is all that matters to me because I tried to look at them with my heart and not my eyes and that’s how friendship lasted this long.

Lately, I have also quit my job in The Regent Singapore. I don’t know would it be permanently or just temporarily. I have worked longed enough for a part-time job and including completing my internship at the same hotel. I love the colleagues and I learnt and gained alot there. It wasn’t easy but they taught me well. I guess it’s time to take what I have learnt and bring it to the next company or hotel. I have interest in housekeeping department for part-time jobs and sent a couple of resumes to the hotels I am interested in and hopefully I can get my reply from them soon! (*fingers cross*)

I guess life in Singapore is just really tough and stressful, and trying to survive is just extremely difficult especially when you don’t have the support of your family 😦

FYI, just a random sidetracking from my life, the related family from my maternal side in malaysia, like those cousins who are of the same age as me are getting married this year. Yes, I totally can’t believe it. Marriage at my age or slightly older. There’s so much more in life that is about to bring and tying the knot at this age seems totally unbelievable. It kind of restrict your growth for your future prospective. Still, I should be happy for them that they found that someone who they are going to grow old and sick with. I should be happy 🙂


Enough of ranting for the day, till next time then.




5 thoughts on “Next Phase in Life

  1. hey, wait a minute…are you actually awake? isn’t it,like.uhm…3 am over there? Just wanted to add (there seems to be no way to edit what is already posted) that what you write “seems slightly more like stories” because you have a good sense of composition, of story-telling. There may be a future professional writer inside you, waiting to wake up.

  2. another thought: I guess those things I said are things i’ve been wanting to say since I first stumbled across your blog (ouch! who left that blog there?!! owww!) Should i even write such things in such a public spot? how many people can read it? might it cause embarrassment? ohoh And is it fair?you don’t know who I am..but i can read so much about you. I’ll send you a friend request on facebook. but what i started out to say was that I didn’t address anything specific that wrote. It’s sad about your grandma. My mom died of cancer when I was 16. I don’t remember those days much but , without my knowing it at the time, it totally changed my attitude to school. i just stopped trying. I dropped from getting perfect scores on tests to nearly failing. instead of going to university to be a geologist/archeaologist/ architect and probably half a dozen other things i dropped out and became a wanderer at 18. Ofcourse bullying and being a ‘weird” unpopular kid had a lot to do with it too. are you parents so indifferent to you? how can that be when you’re such a charming kid?

  3. Sometimes i just don’t know what to think about you. Maybe you’re a secret journalism student and these stories are just stories,all made up? could it be? A class exercise? (either way, i keep thinking you should be studying writing or journalism) How can any young girl’s life be so complicated? And how can anyone who writes so revealingly, honestly and intelligently about themselves have so much trouble at school? You write such sad things and yet you look so happy in your photos…so sincerely happy. And so likeable. You look like the kind of person who would have lots of friends, people would always react well to you. And yet sometimes it sounds like you are living under a dark cloud of someone else’s devise, a singaporean cinderella, with no prince charming in sight. Or am i being too dramatic? i don’t know. but I’m worried about you. honest. really. not kidding. I do see a bright future for you. It’s out there, waiting. but I think you are going to have to be your own prince charming.

    • Honestly, I am not a journalism student. But I am once a drama student, so pretending to be happy when I’m sad is pretty easy, it’s like putting on a mask and taddaaa! Only those whom are really close to me would be able to sense the unhappiness in me when I’m actually smiling.
      As for those stories, they are true, they are happening to me and I just didn’t want to phrase them in a way as such like I am whining or complaining. That’s why they seemed slightly more like stories, when the fact that they are real.

      • I know they are real. i can see that. I was kind of explaining my …i don’t know, my confusion maybe, about how i felt reading such personal and difficult things…sitting here so far away from this person I don’t really know and yet feeling involved by the emotion. And then there’s the backgrund of recent events in canada that so upset everyone here, was everywhere in the news for so long. And then happened again.
        I want you to know that you have someone to talk to.

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