I wish, I may, I wish, I might.

I wish, I may, I wish I might.

I wish for someone who could hear my voice,

Someone who could just listen to my thoughts and provide me with advice.

Someone who could just be the role of my parents or at least my mother,

to give me the motherly love that I need,

the protection that a mother give and the concern over my future.

I wish, I may, I wish I might.

I wish for a shooting star that could make this extraordinary wish come true.

It is not a very demanding wish.

It is neither something impossible.

For I am just sick of talking to myself,

Pretending to be the role of the mother, the father,

Pretending to answer my own questions,

Pretending to be happy, when I am not,

Pretending to know everything, when I don’t,

Pretending to be matured, when I am as childish as you could think.

I wish for someone to be proud of me, for who I am,Β 

Someone who wouldn’t call me stupid,

Someone who wouldn’t call me useless,

Someone who wouldn’t ignore my existence,

Someone who wouldn’t treat me like a tool,

Someone who WOULD just treat me like a daughter of her own.

And all I wish for is someone who really takes up the role as a mother, a REAL MOTHER.

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2 thoughts on “I wish, I may, I wish, I might.

  1. hi, me again. i hope i’m not intruding…sometimes, reading your blog, it feels like I’m intruding on someone’s private diary. It seems like too public a place to discuss these kinds of problems…but maybe, being over 50 I’m a bit old-fashioned in these things.Not digitally mature, like you are? hehe But, as i’ve said, Reading these things i can’t help worrying about you. Who wouldn’t? This is not the way a kid should have to grow up. It’s not supposed to be this hard. Is there really no one you can go to for advice? Or is it just that you sometimes just feel that way?
    Obviously I know nothing about your family. but you’re not the first person in s’pore to feel this way. Both my nice and nephew on my wife’s side were dumped on their grandparents for 15 years and rarely visited by their parents. They paid no attention to them. didn’t seem to like them…seemed so cold to me. hmmm…i also know of another woman who was , shall we say, rather wild in her youth, got pregnant, and gave the child to her sister to look after.They said the same sort of things to him as you report from your parents. I always thought this kid was a smart guy…but not them. still, he got through it…and they did look after him..just didn’t treat him the same as their own kids. Still, his home life seemed a lot better than yours.

    Why do your parents treat you so badly? Can you get through to them, try to talk to them? Hope you’re doing ok…

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