白痴的我终于看清了个个…

The mid of March was something which I dreaded, in particular to the period of 19th-21st. My horrifying nightmare came back again! Yes, it was none other than menses or period whichever you would like to call it. As usual, I took my ponstan (a super strong painkiller prescribed by my gynae which is pretty bad for gastric if you take it in the long run), still I couldn’t avoid the killer cramps. They engulfed and took over me, my tolerance for pain and I was practically weeping in tears and shrieking in pain. Every period of pain came like a pulse, or perhaps a current of wave, smashing into my lower abdomen as if it was never ending.

At that period, all I wanted for was someone to helped me, but nobody did. I starved the entire day, because I was struggling in pain that I was in terrible cold and sweat, with lips pale than a sheet of A4 blank paper. Not even a tinge of energy was left in my body to be able to head out and take-away food. Then, the moment of realization hits me, it hits me hard, so much that it slap me some senses.

I realize how much my parents were so heartless that they didn’t even care about my existence. I was in pain and I had no choice but to text them to ask them if they could help me purchase a pack of noodles. They ignored my message. I waited for hours, there was no food. Although the words written “TAKE AFTER FOOD” in bold on the package of the ponstan pills, I had no choice but to take it with an empty stomach. I was too weak to get food. My next options were actually friends and I texted everyone, none replied, either that they claimed they were busy. Busy on a sunday. RIGHT! When I needed a tiny weeny help.

Later around midnight, I struggled out of the house to get food for my tummy was protesting way too badly. Guess what, my world was practically spinning and I couldn’t cross the road for the lights were spinning. I was nearly knock down by the car. NEARLY. It came to a large screeching haul with a loud honk at me. I was given one of the worst shock in my entire life.

我有朋友等于没朋友,当你最需要帮助时,她们何在?所谓的患难见真情,我终于看清了一切。虚假的友情,自称的朋友,全都是掏空!

这让我觉得活在这个虚假的世界是更加的痛苦,为何不能离去呢?

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4 thoughts on “白痴的我终于看清了个个…

  1. 《晴雨有時》

    感激折磨你的人與事

    師父說:「你抬頭看到甚麼?」

    徒弟說:「天空。」

    師父說:「天空很大,但我可以用一隻手遮住整個天空。」

    徒弟不信,於是師父用手掌遮住了弟子的雙眼,說:「你還能看見天空嗎?」

    生活的煩惱其實就是這隻手掌,它很小,你若放不下,總是拉近放在眼前、放在心頭,你將錯過人生的太陽與藍天。

    無論貧窮,還是富有;無論子孫滿堂,還是孑然一身;無論默默無聞,還是名滿天下;我們總有各自的人生軌迹,成功或挫敗,被寬恕或被欺騙,輝煌時刻或黯淡無聲……凡人,總有無常無盡的煩惱,甚至有時候讓人痛苦,茫然得無法呼吸,萬念俱灰,心碎欲裂……有很多的幸福和不幸,我們都經歷過,也許此刻仍然經歷着……當悲觀掙扎的時候,學習不要怨恨這個世界的不公,身邊人或環境的不善,因為自哀自憐是最浪費生命的。

    不要把自己看得那麼重,也不要太在意外界對你的看法。實實在在地做你心目中的自己,明白真正的自己便是當下做事的自己,而非別人眼中的自己。這也是一種我平時警醒自己的心法的鍛煉,是一種放下的態度,也是一種釋懷的態度,這很難,卻是智慧的,是放下我執的方法。有時候我也會陷入各種各樣的委屈,糾結,無明之狀態,難以超脫,眼淚,各種發洩都無能為力。試試心靈的力量吧!它可以轉變許多負面的情緒和能量場。當我們無力改變外界的環境時,我們可以用正面的,第三者的態度去觀察我們的煩惱,然後用智慧對症下藥,練習轉變我們的心境。當我們成功轉變了心境,這些煩惱就變成我們修行的助緣了!感激這些折磨我們的人或事,這些助我們成長的逆行菩薩!

    (節錄自4月9日 – 香港都市日報 – 陳晴(有情天地) )

  2.    This is SO shocking to hear. Were you actually, audibly, crying in pain? shrieking? that’s a horrifying image. I really can’t imagine your parents ignoring you completely. How cruel and heartless can they be? they must have been able to hear you.  they can’t possibly be your real family. No one could be that cruel.     I wonder…do they speak much english? are they of the old style, chinese educated type one still meets in singapore?    You texted them? would they have actually seen the text? you couldn’t get up and go and ask them for help?    When you texted your friends, were you specific enough…I mean, did you tell them clearly what was happening, how you were in so much pain? Or did you just say something vague like ” i could use some help with something”?    If I was in singapore I would have come.     I hope this doesn’t happen to you every month. my god! please not! The ponstan seems like an odd choice (although i see it listed for extreme menstrual pain i think you would still need other medication for the cramps). Yan recommends midol and maybe an antispasmodic drug. I don’t know what to do…but the ponstan doesn’t seem to be the right thing if you are still in that much pain. have you been back to the doctor for further consultation?I think this needs further medical investigation…or you should do some reading on webMD and Mayo clinic websites.    From: T H E D R E A M E R To: hipgraham@yahoo.ca Sent: Tuesday, March 31, 2015 11:19 AM Subject: [New post] 白痴的我终于看清了个个… #yiv8536199746 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv8536199746 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv8536199746 a.yiv8536199746primaryactionlink:link, #yiv8536199746 a.yiv8536199746primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv8536199746 a.yiv8536199746primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv8536199746 a.yiv8536199746primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv8536199746 WordPress.com | Yun Yun posted: “The mid of March was something which I dreaded, in particular to the period of 19th-21st. My horrifying nightmare came back again! Yes, it was none other than menses or period whichever you would like to call it. As usual, I took my ponstan (a super stron” | |

    • Why are you actually doubting me. Do I really have to screenshot those smses?
      As for my parents, they are 24 hours facing the phone type of people, one ring, one notification alert, they fly to their phone straight. I was simply lying on the bed or rolling on the floor crying in pain. No energy to even walk out of my own room.
      As for the medicine, I tried several kind of painkillers and only ponstan manage to have some effect in stopping the pain. But I guess my body is starting to resist the effect of the medz. I am still waiting for may for my next gynae appt though.

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