Dear Mama, I’ve turned 21 today.

I’ve finally turn 21, the legal age where I am no longer under their control. Have you seen it?

I’ve endure so much more, so much that I’m about to go insane and yet I’m keeping mum just to have a place to say.

I feel so miserable without your presence and even though I had a small birthday celebration with a group of close friends, which was suppose to make me happy, I felt like I was forced and obligated to try to smile in every of the photos taken with everyone. The worst was during the part where they were singing birthday song for me. I was trying so hard to not to let out a single tear. I felt alone even when everyone was right in front singing song for me. I couldn’t feel any love without you. (I’m sorry everyone who turned up, grandma’s presence was way important than anything else.)

I wish you were here to witness everything. Another milestone in my life, turning 21.

And you wishing me Happy Birthday is what I want to hear from you the most.

“Ah Yun ah, you’re 21 already, must always stay well and be a good girl..” (that’s probably what she’ll tell me in hokkien…)

 

May

Hooray to the start of May! The torturous month of April is finally over and that continuous non-stop 16 days routine had finally come to its end. I’m finally having my rest day TOMORROW! Say yeah to sleeping without having an alarm clock to make you jump out of bed and the countless snooze button to press. Guess what, I’m all done booking all my Hong Kong hotels and Shenzhen hotels. All I need now is to spend some quality time researching on the places of interests, attractions, food and shopping! Then I have plan my itinerary and print the important documents…

I’m so happy to have completed one of the must-do checklist:

Travelling alone.

Also, my birthday is round the corner on the 18th which is like next next monday. Even though I have no intentions of celebrating my 21st at all… still, I booked a hotel and invited a few friends to come over. Maybe a simple cake-cutting and some drinking time. That’s it. No parties, nothing fancy. I guess.

I miss grandma actually. She promised to celebrate and throw a party for me and the fact that she left, made me even sadder. For I was really hoping she could be the one by my side celebrating my 21st. In order to reminisce her presence and to make up for absence, I decided to have a theme for my birthday which is ” A Night in Shanghai” which set the scene to be in the 1930s-1940s. Old vintage Shanghai charm. French colonial houses and neon lights. Beautiful ladies with permed hair and donned in the most exquisite lace cheong sam, with the brightest shade of red lips and cat-eye. Yes, I wanted that kind of feel.

IMG_3869The e-invite that I created. Black and red, the common colors that signify shanghai night theme and the touch of intriguing chinese lace details.  I love it.

IMG_3873

Of course, I decided to implement a dress code. I wanted something different, a theme that set itself aside from the common theme like All Black, Back to School, colour codes. Then I came to a decision for Shanghai Night.

Many of my friends are actually procrastinating about the theme and how ridiculous it was, but I didn’t care. I wanted this theme all along since grandma was around. I had it in my head how things would be like. The theme actually came about to suit grandma because she always wore mandarin collars tops and vintage tops and bottoms. Thus, in order to have a theme that would not make her feel like left-out, I decided why not let the theme revolve around her. Although she left, I’m still going ahead with the same theme.

Of course, I have made the dress code more flexible. If you were to google “night shanghai dress code” you would probably received results of ladies in beautiful cheongsam but since it is going to be a small birthday celebration, I decided to make do with dress or tops with mandarin collar design or lace details. It doesn’t have to be full lace, but partial would do. Of course, red lips is still a must.

I wish that my friends could understand me, but sadly, they don’t except for Glad.

There’s so many thing to do now, I don’t know where to start from. I’m contemplating whether to invite any guys since I had barely or nearly no guy friends beside for the 3 poly mates that I know and the girl’s boyfriends…Sigh.