Dear Mama, I’ve turned 21 today.

I’ve finally turn 21, the legal age where I am no longer under their control. Have you seen it?

I’ve endure so much more, so much that I’m about to go insane and yet I’m keeping mum just to have a place to say.

I feel so miserable without your presence and even though I had a small birthday celebration with a group of close friends, which was suppose to make me happy, I felt like I was forced and obligated to try to smile in every of the photos taken with everyone. The worst was during the part where they were singing birthday song for me. I was trying so hard to not to let out a single tear. I felt alone even when everyone was right in front singing song for me. I couldn’t feel any love without you. (I’m sorry everyone who turned up, grandma’s presence was way important than anything else.)

I wish you were here to witness everything. Another milestone in my life, turning 21.

And you wishing me Happy Birthday is what I want to hear from you the most.

“Ah Yun ah, you’re 21 already, must always stay well and be a good girl..” (that’s probably what she’ll tell me in hokkien…)

 

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