That night she came to my dreams and left me this vivid message that even when I woke up, I could remember exactly what she said which was usually not the case from the usual dreams where she was accompanying and relieving me of my happy moments with her. I wouldn’t remember a single thing, but not for this time.
I guess she could see that I was suffering so badly, and how much my heart was aching and the painful long waits. It wasn’t worth it. She said “It’s time to give up, you waited for long, and in vain. He isn’t yours to keep, let it go, you’ll be happier. Let go, he isn’t worth your time. Let go, he’s someone else…”, in hokkien. I woke up, remembering all this clearly, exactly.
I know during this long period of 6months wait, I’ve changed so much. From the girl who wasn’t serious about life, to being serious, planning for my future and living my dreams, passion and interest. Meanwhile, my heart suffered from all the waiting and misses, because I held on tightly to that tiny tinge of hope thinking that he might be someone whom really keep his promise. I guess I’m too foolish and promises aren’t meant to be kept, because it truly hurts this time. It’ll probably be my last time to trust someone so deeply, I’ve learnt my lesson. I guard my heart with all the ability that I have from tomorrow onwards.
Thanks, grandma. Thank you so much for watching over me in heaven, and taking care of my heart and affairs. I’ll listen to you. I’ll let go, because you’re right.