4 months into flying

Ok, officially reached the 4months mark into flying. I’m not particularly thrilled over flying now, that I have reached 4 months, nearly 2 more months till probation ends if everything goes well.

Everyone has been asking been, how’s flying? How’s your flying life? Seriously, I will reply, up in the airplane, mundane and shitty. AND LAYOVERS? Fantastic and fabulous, lovin’ it.

AND WHY?

It must be the passengers. Haha nah you are so so so wrong about it.

Anyway, I’m thankful for the passengers at times, they really saved me for a lot from bad flights and maybe I have been in the hospitality industry for quite awhile, and the one hospitality motto that I learnt was to “treat others the way you want to be treated” and it has always been in my head no matter what, because it has never gone wrong till today.

And guess what, apparently most people disliked china flights because of the passengers but still I really like them for it’s really easy to engage in a conversation with them. They would ask alot about airlines and air attendants life and it’s always interesting to share with them little things that they would go “wow” and “oh” and helping them with their curiosity, it makes my day happier when they leave with a smile or a “谢谢” when they walk pass my door upon disembarkation.

Then again, I’m always having bad luck because I rarely get rostered to a china flight, my first and second month, I had none, and then I prayed so hard and finally I got 2, and then on this fourth month, I only had 1 and where do I frequent most? Australia and India and Saudi Arabia, they aren’t my cup of tea because I always have trouble speaking in English, while doing service, like my brain just doesn’t seem to be willing to process English quickly. It always take me like at least 5 seconds to digest one instruction in English, which is terrible. I have been trying really hard to speak English but ends up forever failing…oh wells, 2 more months till I can swap flights! Then I shall get swap away all other flights for just China.

Ok, I’m seriously a China fan here. I love their rich culture and history, and I feel so at ease down there, like as though I live there long long time ago, or maybe I do…hmm… But anyway, food in china is awesome, although they do have a weird smell but just put the food in your mouth, and bamn! That’s when magic works, the food would taste usually surprisingly delicious! And of course, the gyms in China hotels are well, amazingly fantastic. Like a downsize version of legit public gyms in Singapore, and well nobody gyms, so you get the whole entire gym to yourself! How awesome!

And I always do that satisfy my tummy first and then burn those sinful calories in the gym and that’s why I really like China that much.. Hahaha. 😛

Then again, there is so much happening and going on from june onwards and I don’t know how things will be like, I’m hoping for some good changes at least… *fingers crossed*

 

 

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空荡荡的

最近老是忙着飞来飞去,往不同地国家奔跑,也忙着去找时间学钢管舞和健身,不然就是睡觉(不知怎么了,老是觉得很疲倦,大概时差和半夜班机的关系吧。)我总觉得时间不够用。

可当我在国外休息时或自己独自去走走时,才发现原来我又似乎的一点点不快乐。

我总会想起一些往事,我总觉得开始有点后悔放弃一些或许当时觉得是不好的东西,可不知是年龄大了,开始觉得或许如果当时没放下那些东西和事物,结局又会是如何的,或许我不会是空荡荡的一个人,或许我现在拥有两全其美的美梦。

但如果因害怕空荡荡的结果而选择了坚持和忍耐,我又会快乐吗?

嗨。。。烦死我了啦!

其实为什么要想那么多?

我自个也开始矛盾了。选择了,做出了决定,那就成定局了,何必在想些毫无意义的东东?

可在大多数的情况下,我始终还是觉得非常的空。

因麽嚒的离别我选择了当空姐,为了能在天空中飞行,能和她有更进一步的距离,但最大的原因还是为了逃避,逃避新加坡,逃避这个冷清的家,逃避这个现实。

有时当我坐在那空姐的宝座时,面对这乘客我不知不觉就会开始想:

  • 如果看见了老奶奶和她们的孙子坐在一块,我就会幻想如果奶奶还在,或许我现在或明天能拿假期带她出国游玩世界,那是我从小以来的梦想,长大后要用尽一切回报她用心把我带大。
  • 如果看见了双双对对的情侣,我就会开始觉的我为什么那么傻,选择了放弃而不厚着脸皮地去追,活着已经全力而不后悔的思想,或许现在不会是我一个人了。
  • 如果看见了一群朋友,我就会想,我的朋友个个都去哪了?怎么,我老是一个人,我就近是否真的有朋友?

其实,我不知道为什么要选择了活着追求生命的意义。至今年年过了一年,我始终还放不下我的阴影,也放不下对麽麽的思念,我老是觉得空荡荡的,不知活着到底实在为什么而活?毫无目标,人生计划地活着,我究竟是要如何地过日?