HIM: Introducing- How we met?

If you have been with me for a very time, you’ve probably read all the articles that I wrote about my feelings and love, expectations of a boyfriend, etc etc…

BUT, I have never mention one before. Reason being, despite all the dates that I have been out with the various guys, from clubs, from Tinder & Okcupid, none of them are great, maybe one or two was kinda boyfriend material, but most wanted to get laid, to get me into their bed. I never met someone from school before, a guy that chase me, because I was this ugly girl and anti-social.

I could say even my part time job back then, I always mingled well with the aunties than people of my age, because I had difficulty finding common topic. And of course, my special family background, no one could understand it. Most people think, I was lying.

Obviously, I wasn’t if you have known me.

Maybe, it’s time to introduce him.

Around November 2018, I kinda completed my first year of flying and job, was more stable as I knew what to do basically and tasks in hand, maybe just not perfect with handling situations yet. I got kinda bored with flying life, and I realise that I haven’t been dating and there was no luck in my love life. The guys in my workplace, majority are gays, they are so cute to talk to, but they like guys, and the rest, mostly are attached, and some I didn’t really like because I don’t like guys that weighs around my weight. Then, I have been back on Tinder for quite awhile on and off because Tinder’s guys profiling was getting worst, and there were more guys looking for ONS and FWB than serious relationship.

On 13 Dec 2018, one fine boring afternoon that I was having my off day, laying on bed as usual, I was swiping on Tinder randomly, aimlessly, swiped through a couple bunch of guys, until this guy that I had quite an impression because of his photos. The first photo he had was a selfie in the lift and lifting his T-shirt up to capture his abs and I found it dodgy, but his thick black framed specs kinda caught my attention, I swiped to see his second photo, it was a gym photo, and he look well, ermmm fierce. Usually gym guys photos look like either muscular cool or muscular cute but for his guy he is fierce. It’s ok, I went on with his third photo, he had a friendly nice smile. Well, I always had a thing for  guys who gym and the bigger the muscles, the better. For they would better understand that girls who pole is definitely not a stripper or someone who does lap dancing. So I swiped right to him, despite him not looking handsome in his photos, maybe for that smile, black specs, and muscles I swiped right to him.

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(this was one of his profile pictures)

Awww, I know you’ll be thinking, what a judge mental bitch, isn’t it? But hey what else can you see from a Tinder profile’s beside photos and maybe a sentence of introduction?

And unexpectedly, WE MATCHED!

(At that time, I gotta admit as a girl, I get matches too easily, so I don’t really have that excitement as compared to a guy I guess. It was like hey, he matched me, ok. Let’s see if he’ll start a convo, else it will be another number adding to my numerous amount of match. HAH)

Ok, before I continue on with this post, I will be writing everything based on my account and from my perspective. So, please don’t judge. I totally appreciate that.

Let’s continue…

Maybe hours lately, I can’t remember too clearly, he started to talk to me, on Tinder for quite awhile, he asked me my favourite food which was cheese fries from kfc at that time and he love it as well haha! Also, finding out that he was actually ok and understanding towards pole dancing was very important to me. Then he had a liking towards cats and at that time my silly fella MiMi was still around (it was important he was accepting towards stray cats because I hated guys who tell me eww why do you touch stray cats they are so dirty and gross) and I thought, wow this guy seems nice! He likes to gym, looks kinda decent and respectful, likes cats, older than me (by that tiny bit but still…important), shares quite a fair bit of common food interest, like sashimi and cheese fries, and acceptance towards pole dancing, doesn’t smoke (a serious deal breaker), not below 170cm (I had this weird thinking that if I wear heels, he must not be shorter than me).

At that point in time, I was bringing my giant bag of clothes to the laundry shop , those self coin operated kind to get my clothes washed. My parents were nuts that the house is not allowed to buy a washing machine and that crazy birth mum of mine didn’t allowed my to hang my laundry out to dry because she said it’s dirty and superstitious stuff, she always threw my freshly laundered clothes that were wet right at my room door. Rude af. That how I ended up having to bring my clothes to laundry shop to wash and then do the drying there as well, and to save money, I actually accumulate my clothes to one week or two weeks worth so that the washing machine is filled to the brim. So while waiting for laundry to be washed, I texted him on Tinder.

I can’t remembered when, he asked me for my number, but it was definitely before my very first Harbin flight that I managed to swapped into. The day before my Harbin flight, we took a step from Tinder chat to WhatsApp.

After reaching Harbin, I was so excited because for the first time ever, I got my own room! I did not had to share with the crew because the crew leader bought her own room, and I was thrilled. I took lots of photos and videos on instastory and I had to connect to VPN to reply to this guy as well because I told him that I would reply him when I reached. Stupid VPN, took me awhile to get connected because China had a limitation ban on IG, FB, WA, basically non-China apps. Thankfully the hotel wifi was strong, and connecting VPN was easy. Eventually I realise that it just so happened that I got a room with good wifi connectivity. So I send him a WhatsApp text and the view of Harbin in my room, probably the first person that I share the joy and excitement with, because Harbin was one of the destinations that I wanted to go before I started flying and the airline finally launched the route to Harbin!

Anyway, when I came back from Harbin, this guy asked me to meet him for a kfc meal and would treat me to cheese fries, and I turned him down. Reason being, I barely talked to him for a week and he wanted to asked me out already? I felt it was too fast because of my past Tinder dates and experiences, guys who usually rushes to the girl tends to had ill intentions. Usually if I turned the guy down, they would move on and look for another target.

But! This guy still kept the conversations on with me, although he was slightly ‘colder’ in chats and few days passed, he asked me out again on a Christmas date. This time, I agreed because I felt that it was going to be 2 weeks of chatting and getting to know the person online, maybe it’s time to get to know him in real life.

I know it was still kinda a little fast for me as I only meet them after chatting for 1-3 months later. Since it was Christmas and no guys I have ever dated did asked me out on a Christmas date, so why not right? Plus he said he was going to make plans, so I though it was be an auspicious date to go out on a date with. (I had this special thing with me about Christmas and Chinese New Year because Christmas to me was the time to celebrate with your loved ones and the joy of gifting and celebration for working hard the entire year).

It will be memorable.

And let’s keep the part on our first date in another post because this is getting too lengthy.

xxx

to be continued…

Bad news and good news, which would you like to hear?

Ok, maybe i’ll give you the bad news first so you’ll probably understand things better, or probably it will flow better in an chronological order.

and… pardon my English, I haven’t been willing to speak english at work lately, because i’m kinda into Chinese lately.

Feb 2019: I was admitted to hospital twice right after CNY because I kept vomiting non-stop after eating and even just plainly drinking water (ok i gotta admit maybe I induce some of it because the nausea feeling in me was so intense and I felt cold, pain, and awful) , the doctor send me for CT scan but they couldn’t find anything wrong with my stomach beside that it was inflamed and red. They said it was gastroenteritis but it was weird that mine didn’t recover like normal patients did and the vomiting keeps coming back when I was discharged home.  Then they probably felt it had something to do with psychological issues, they called an counseller to attend to me, and yeah, she felt that it was probably boyfriend issues and mostly, family issues.

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( I was on drip always Everyday and I hated the iv plug, it was major discomfort and pain)

I had a hard time with family as usual, and with CNY, a festive period, they usually be even more nuts than usual, and I was so stress, praying that my roster had more layovers, but I had more turnaround flights which meant I had to spend time at home. I was on the verge of breaking, she would scold me right before I go to work for the most ridiculous reasons, and sometimes waking up at wee hours just to catch me before I go to work and vent her anger on me when I didn’t even talked to her at all or did anything that relates to her. I cried almost every time on the Grabhitch ride to airport. And layovers were the best time of my life. I felt peace.

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(He came after his work to surprised me with this!)

Anyway, my vomiting stopped after a lot of medicine and somehow things got slightly better because of March roster and i went on a solo trip to Korea, I felt happier.

Jun 2019: I nearly broke up with him because he lied. ( which he said he didn’t because he just simply chose not tell me ) I felt like crap because I love him for his honesty and that he was a very loyal person and wouldn’t flirt with any other girls but he did. My heart was shattered. I had no idea what to do. I love and trusted him wholeheartedly thinking that he will be my last and my only, but now… I shan’t explain the details because I chose to forgive him despite all 100% odds that if I do tell you what happened everyone else will tell me not leave. Ever since then I kinda feel insecure once awhile and I had to go back to pole-dancing to curb this insecurity because once scarred, there will be a scar. I took a leap in faith against everyone’s advice, and chose to give him this chance,  I hope I won’t regret when I come back to this post in maybe 5 ? Or 10 years time.

Aug 2019: The vomiting came back again, it was serious than ever, I had to admit myself to the hospital. This time the doctor was perplexed because the frequency of my gastroenteritis relapse was too frequent, so they send me for a scope where they put this tiny camera through my mouth, down the throat to the stomach to see what’s going wrong with it. And again, they found nothing abnormal beside the redness which was due to it inflamed. This time, they sent a psychologist along with a counsellor to my hospital bedside to ‘talk’ to me. As usual they realise it’s family issues, and the only way was that I leave this place of hell that I once called home because my vomiting issue was getting serious and they doubt that it will completely cure. Psychologically, my body has already chose to vomit because once I am overly stressed out, my stomach will overproduce gastric juices which are the yellow or green fluids that I always puke. They gave me the encouragement to move out, because counselling me would not helped me at all, despite them wanting to help me.

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(I know I look pale and frail here, needing oxygen to breathe.)

Sep 2019: HOOHOO!  I found a place! I moved out officially, although I still go back to that hell place once awhile to collect my letters and the little things I need that weren’t so important to bring over to the room that I rented because I had too many things. Moving out alone was a huge difficult chore because he was not free and I had to move alone, I made so many trips to and fro, so many carsickness moments, aching arms. Sometimes, I really feel proud of myself that I can carry so many heavy bags without a man’s help, although I probably look like a clown and hideous cause I’m sweaty by the end of it. Mhmm, I’m officially out of that hell place, although there’s loads of memories of there with grandma, whom I really miss dearly.

Honestly, after moving out,  I kinda realised I’m all alone. Like I don’t have friends that really care. Those so-called bffs are just fake. And the worst thing of moving out, I can’t feed any stray cats anymore. My stray furry friends are my go-to when I’m down and bored, I always spend hours with them, they are just so entertaining and therapeutic. The landlord doesn’t approve of any pets, and the neighbourhood has no stray cats because it’s a pretty new neighbourhood, sadly. And cooking is now much difficult because the owner only approves of light cooking, so basically I do microwave cooking haha and rely on food delivery on lazy days or when I’m sick.

And my gastric vomiting still occurs… usually in the morning when I wake up, all the yellow gastric juices will be out and by the later of the day after I had some food and juices, it gets better.

I shall keep my updates of my life, till here.

‘I know I haven’t been updating of my travel trips that I made this year.  I shall do so soon since my ankle is sprained from work injury and I’m down from flying temporarily, urgh, there goes my  favourite Osaka and guangzhou layover. *sobs*