Why am I such a fool?

I feel horrible, I feel awful, I feel stupid, I feel dumb.

I’m so so so close to a mental breakdown.

If it wasn’t for flying and having the job to keep me distracted, I think I’ll really collapse.

I don’t know how could I even made the same mistake I made 8 years ago.

How could I?

How could you Yun?

I don’t know man I really don’t know.

I felt there wasn’t anyone in this world truly cared for me since Ah Ma left.

I hate this loneliness.

I felt unwanted.

All the friends that I had, they were never really true for me. They could lend a listening ear and some words of advice and concern and nothing more than that.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of being the one who is the one initiating and trying to keep something that is simply just falling apart.

Everything takes two hands to clap, friendship or relationship, it’s the same. And why am I always the one to be the main pillar of support.

All I wanted was someone to be my pillar of support. I let my guard down, and I was really foolish.

My head hurts honestly.

I probably have no idea what I am talking here and all this probably might not make even any sense but I am still going to post this, nonetheless.

Life is like that, as cruel as it is.

Like a joke.

Sigh.

I don’t know how I would end up like that.

I really don’t know.

But, on a side note, I’m facing my mistake bravely instead of running away from it like how I did 8 years ago, call it redemption but I don’t know how brave I can be lol.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s