7 Reasons to Why I chose to be Single

People around me are getting attached or are enjoying the process of dating, basking in the happiness where you are getting pampered and treated like a princess by your favourite boy, guy or man. As for me, the lonely one, who has never ever had a boyfriend, never ever had a date, has been single since forever. Many around me has introduced me couple and several guys and I have met some nice ones as well but it has never daunted on me to decide to accept either one of them, despite all those around me getting attached and leaving me as the only one single (not yet the only one, but probably soon).

The reasons I chose to remain single was probably quite a feat to list them all, but I guess here are some of them that I could possibly think of.

1. He’s not the right one.

Everyone has their ideal or dream guy that they wish to have, be it tall, smart, dashing, gentleman, good-looking, fair , tanned, honest, funny or perhaps to the weirdest character that you might ever think of. Still, as long as the guy doesn’t fits into the check-list that you have in mind, you probably wouldn’t even give any consideration or thought about going out on a slightest date with him and most likely, you would just friend-zoned him. I guess this kind of happens to me as well, because I am a cat fanatic and of the many guys I met, none of them adored cats like I do, and perhaps, “he” won’t love my little boy, Mi Mi.

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2. Freedom

Perhaps being in a relationship or being in the status of “single but unavailable”, you would kind of lose part of your freedom that you used to had when you are single. This would definitely include lesser time to hang out with your girls, your friends, your family and perhaps eating into your “alone” time. I guess it would be an obligation and responsibility to spend time with your other half to maintain the relationship and keep the excitement going on but still, you would spend most of your time hanging out with him. I may or may not be ready for this because I am someone who longed and treasure freedom. I enjoyed spending quality time alone doing things I like such as watching my favourite romance movies and chick flicks alone (I know that majority of the guy populations are never interested in such genres, and perhaps watching with them would end up kissing in the cinema and missing out in the movie content. Damn!) Most importantly, there would not be such thing as own time own target, I would probably have to wait here and there, considering about how he feels and stuffs like that.

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3. The lack of confidence= FEAR

I have to admit, I am someone who has very low confidence of myself, be it on my looks or personality or character. I would probably rate myself a “F” if I had to. (I know I may exaggerating things a bit but still, I never felt that I am pretty as other chinese girls out there.) This probably is why I fear heartbreaks, rejections from guys and perhaps if I was even worthy or compatible with him and all those “what if” questions coming to my mind such as “what if he meets a girl that is prettier than me?” and then maybe I might not be able to compete or even keep his heart, blablabla. (I know you would probably say that this guy would not be even be worthy of your time, but I know girls, being girls definitely will have some insecurities about your guy when you are dating. FOR SURE!)

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4. Opposite doesn’t attract.

Maybe I may have met the guy I really like, but sometimes things may not go the way we wanted and for short, he’s probably just not into me. That’s it. Or maybe vice versa where he really likes me but I have no feelings for him. You should probably know, that mutual attraction is important to let those sparks fly and voila! You are attracted to him. That sort of chemical reaction stuff that has no scientific explanation to it.

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5. Open to more options

Being single gives you the luxury to chose and met new friends of the opposite gender, be it with the intention of being just friends or maybe more, still you are allowed to meet new people without having to worry or to get your guy jealous because you are going out with someone else. Of course, when you meet more people, you get to choose the best one for yourself! However, this is not applicable to me for I’m just an introvert and it would be guys getting to know me than me getting to know the guys.

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6. No commitment

One of the most important criteria when you are in a relationship is being FAITHFUL to your guy. This would definitely equates to quitting your night-life activities such as clubbing and drinking sessions. As for me, being someone who enjoy attending parties and heading to club with a bunch of crazy girls and best friends and maybe some guys who tag along with us, having a relationship would most likely be a total change in the lifestyle that I am having, or perhaps if I am able to negotiate for a “pass” that allows me to attend parties provided that the guy tags along because no guy in the world would not be worried or jealous if their girl heads to the club. Therefore, being single would be the best option to head to the club to party without having to sneak out from your guy or maybe having to lie to him which kind of makes you feel like a bad girlfriend.

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7. Financially Incapable

When you do go out on a date with a guy, you would definitely have to spend some money no matter what. (I am not trying to be a spoilsport, but you definitely have to admit that you do spend money when you are out on a date. Because nothing in the world is free! Unless you are probably a miser who would go all out to get freebies which is something not very impressive to do to leave an impression on a girl or a guy.) I know that most guys nowadays would be willing to pay for all or majority of the expenses when going on a date with a girl and I have to say, it is really very gentlemanly of you all to do so. Nonetheless, I am someone who can’t stand guys paying for my expenses because it is not right to do so and that I should always pay for my own consumption and with me having to pay for finance my own braces treatment, I am near or on the verge of going “bankrupt” if I have to go out on a date with guy.

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I guess I have my own reasons why I chose to be single and I guess the underlying reason that I always give would probably be that I haven’t met someone who likes me for who I am.

Let me just put it this way for the time being…

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Zero Relationship

I know many teens of my age have been in a relationship for at least one time and the tiny fraction of them who hasn’t mainly because they aren’t attractive enough, high expectations, too busy or bisexual. (I am not trying discriminate anyone but rather stating the facts)

As for me, I haven’t been in a single relationship before nor have I went on first date before. 

Perhaps at this point in time, if you are a frequent reader of my wordpress, I guess you would be shocked by it. Possibly, you might be even doubting me or thinking that I am lying or kidding.

Well, I am serious about it and neither have I lied about my dating experience. It is really zero! 

Many people have been asking me about my past relationship experience and when I tell them truthfully that I never had any before, none would actually believe in what I said and I had to spend lots of effort trying to convince them what I said was nothing but the truth.

They always say that I look cute and why I don’t have a boyfriend or never been on a date before.

The reason being is simple, I haven’t found the right guy or haven’t met the guy that would give me a good reason to go out on a date with.

Looking good, being able to dress up and doll myself up doesn’t implies that I am bound to have a boyfriend.

I care about how I look, how I portray myself to the world, to the public and therefore I doll up and dress well to look good. It’s not about trying to attract any guys or for that special someone which I think it’s a little silly to change yourself for someone, unless he is your lawful husband then I shall keep my mouth zipped.

Also, some may ask if my expectations were to high, and well, I think it is more like I can’t meet the expectations that most guys want and therefore I rather choose to be single?

For example, Most guys expect girls to text-message them daily and possibly several times a day that includes asking them what are they doing, where they are, who are they with, etc.

Personally, I am not the kind of person who can stand such sort of “care and concern” from a guy. Maybe because since young, my parents have never cared about me, my well-being where I am, who I am with. Now, I am so used to having no one to care about me nor being concerned about my well-being thus, I couldn’t stand all these questioning. I find them more of irritating although I know that they meant well and it’s a form of a guy showing his care for his girl.

I guess I would prefer to have less frequent questionings and not to text-message so often because I always feel that distance makes the heart yearns and keeps the relationship burning as when you don’t meet nor chat with each other, misses will grow stronger and intense and the next time you meet him/her, you would cherish that moment even more. That’s what I feel that keeps relationship alive and exciting.

I know it is hard to find a guy nowadays who agree with my way of thinking, but I chose to believe that someday such a guy would appear.