He made his grand entrance, but left like a wind.

“When you finally met someone of your dreams, you will never cherish him/her until you lose it,

would you then come to the realization that this person is the best and no one else is comparable to him/her.”

~Yun

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(A little sprinkle of magical fairy dust…)

The multicoloured lights, the acoustic music with the DJ spinning and the jam-packed dance floor, amidst the crowd was this group of guys that was right beside me dancing and cheering for each bass drop. They did not really stand out as on my left there was a similar group of them, and likewise in front, the back and everywhere, until my eyes met his… his fit muscular build that represented security, his straight white teeth when he let out a smile when our eyes met and those gorgeous set of eyes, they were simply sparkling and standing out among the crowd. It was charm.

For a short brief moment, while the crowd was busy, pumping their fists in the air, cheering for the good spin of music, we continued looking at one another, despite the awkwardness, our eyes were just locked to each other, and then the surroundings started to distant itself, like the two of us were in another world. It felt magical.

And, that was how I met him.

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Present day:

He no longer existed in my world and that despite the beautiful night with all the magical moments, it was just like every other night, gone in a flash and in turn, became part of my memories. His humour, his loyalty, his patience was what I adore for. Nonetheless, it was his charming cute smile that melted my heart, something that made my heart skipped a beat and pound slightly faster.

Sometimes, even though I may wish that I have never had met him, which resulted in not being able to forget about his presence and holding on to that tiny little hope that someday, another magical moment might just occur again. Yes, it was silly, but it was never easy to forget someone that I had spend great quality time together.

Occasionally, the public, the strangers, people that might just brush past my shoulder might have some cast resemblance to him. He was like a completed piece of jig saw puzzle, the characteristics that the others might have, like his broad shoulders reminds me of the time he place my lethargic head on his shoulders to rest, the cute smile that once melted my heart, and somewhat, all these little tiny details form the complete image of him and although these tiny details can be found in others, things weren’t the same anymore. No matter how I try, there can’t be an exact replica of him.

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Even though I may understand this, I just simply can’t forget, it is just too hard, way out of my capability to do so.

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X OAGs (Overly Attached Girlfriends)

I rarely goes into the topic of relationship because I don’t see the need to, since relationship is something that hasn’t been my interest until lately when things start rising and the annoying pressure you get from both sides of my families and sometimes even friends.

Often, I see those poor guys complaining about how pitiful they are when they have to be on a near 24 hours standby for their girlfriends reporting about their status, GPS location, activity and surroundings. Also, there are those girlfriends who would demand alot from their boyfriend and that they would choose to prioritize meeting their boyfriends over meeting their girlfriends and despite the poor guy becoming cold to them, the girls never understood why. The reason being simple, they are tying them down too tight.

I know I am in no right to say about relationship problems because I have never officially been into a relationship where the guy pops up with the “Will You Be My Girlfriend” question, but then again, there’s always dates and the period where “he woos and he fails” part. I have the experience where you started to be fond of a guy and that his presence is like the sunshine, the rainbow and the moment he is with you is like a pot of gold, you longed for his presence and extremely excited to know what is he doing and hearing his voice melts your heart.

Maybe I am a little too over the edge, but you kind of get my point. You want to spend every moment of your life with him and then everything else comes next. He revolves around your life and daily activities, so much so that you are dependent on him and that if he were to be missing for a day, no, maybe an hour, your world would go completely upside down, topsy-turvy.

Putting yourself in his shoes, he may be wiling to spend quality time with you, be a fine gentleman by helping you in all those tiny little details such as carrying your heavy baggage or perhaps getting you your favourite food or items that you eyed on the other day when you were shopping together. Neither would he mind about you wanting to spend time with him everyday and that daily contact or hourly contact which is a must-do.

My Notion:

I used to imagine what if one day I had a boyfriend and that maybe I shouldn’t be in the footsteps of my girlfriends because after all, he is someone I love and that restricting him would be like ripping off his freedom, then he would be unhappy and so would I. (Maybe I am a little silly, which most guys think I am, because they felt that this wasn’t care, it was more like pushing them away.) No, to me, giving them a freedom is what I feel they deserve because relationship should be a two way thing and that it shouldn’t affect his daily routine much such as his usual gatherings with his friends, brothers or clique.

This are the 5 main things that I think should be appropriate in my relationship:

  • 1x Quality date per week would do the trick (Distance makes the heart grows fonder…)
  • Daily contact is a MUST especially a Morning and Good Night text would do the trick. (I don’t see the point of having to constantly talking with one another every hour, because he has to do his own things, when one is busy, there is no time for texting.)
  • Asking of “Where/What/Who/When” of his daily activities should not be done, or maybe once in a while, in case he claims that you don’t care about his well-being. (I would really prefer them telling me, because they would tell if they want to, if they do not, they have their reasons, and I respect that.)
  • Never prioritize all your free days for me, just 1 day would do and never sacrifice your outings with your friends/cliques/brothers for me. (Friendship last a lifetime, but relationship doesn’t, I am just thinking ahead, although you would probably say *touch wood* and that I’m nuts.)
  • If he does club, he is free to go club without me, but it would be nice if he ask me along, although majority of the time I would not tag along because it’s his time out with his friends or maybe unwind. (Speaking of clubbing, you would think I don’t give a damn about my guy, but think carefully, if honesty and trust is present in your relationship, there is nothing to worry about because he would not do any “wrong” thing for he would always tell you what has happened that night to assure you that he is faithful.)

I know it’s not exhaustive but those are probably my thinking and my idea of how relationship should works. Still no good guys have ever comprehend my reasons for doing so and that they felt that this wasn’t caring for them and much to say loving them, while the bad guys took the opportunity to misuse those freedom that I gave and I ended up getting hurt.

People calls me silly all the time and probably the biggest sotong head you would ever find (sotong = squid = blur). I think that freedom is a right, freedom is something one should deserve and ripping off one’s freedom is not a right thing to do.

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Or maybe if I am too silly … 

以前的是我,去哪了?

以前的我从未为男孩子付出感情过…

以前的我从未为男孩子掉泪过…

以前的我从未为男孩子伤心过…

以前的我…是多么的快乐因为我从未在乎别人的眼光,并且并非把男孩子放在眼里,对待他们的态度是多么的潇洒,多么的沉稳…就如个大女人的风范,多威风呀!

但经过了那种种的事情后,我的态度有了三百六十度的转变,已未和从前那样了…

我现在十分讨厌现在的我,为何没有坚持着自己的信念,相信着男孩子将会是我追求梦想的绊脚石…

Donna said, “Never let anything get in the way of your destiny.”

我怎么能忘了呢?

我实在是太傻了,真不应该掉以轻心,相信了他们的甜言蜜语…

快,快醒悟吧!

There’s always a vast difference between the reality and your fantasy.

It’s alright to dream once in a while but you have to get back on track eventually.