I’m thankful I did not settle for just anyone that comes…

I’m a firm believer in meeting the right someone. That someone who would be your call, your text away 24/7, that someone who would be your dark knight, your guardian angel, your soulmate, your listening ear, your adviser, your happy pill, and your best company. I know that someone is somewhere out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me realize that my wait is worthwhile.

YES, that’s why I have never settle for just anyone that came along in my life. Call me picky, call me choosy, call me whatever you may like, but that’s me. 😀

For those whom have known me, listening to all my date stories, you’ll know that I’m a typical Taurus, who never opens up to anyone until I’ve seen his true colors. I’m always observing and being patient, trying not to fall hard to someone whom I do not know inside out. Simply because, when I fall, I fall hard, so hard that I ended up getting hurt but I do not regret a single one, for they each taught me something new and what I’m looking for…

  • He told me I was too good to be true.. and so I did to become an even better person to make to be a “too good to be true” girl.
  • He told me I was nice but treated me like a possession without respect… and I finally learnt to be BAD by leaving him.
  • He told me I was too fit for his liking for he liked chubby/curvy girls… and I became even more motivated to POLE HARDER.

These are probably just some of the more significant dates that has probably molded me to become the girl I am today. Till as I’m typing this post, I know that I made the right choice for myself for not settling for anything less because I don’t need anyone to dictate my life, my choices nor my goals.

The inability to not accept someone’s else flaws may not be a bad point, to state that I am someone who is a perfectionist over the qualities that I want in a partner, resulting in rejecting a potentially ideal person. Ultimately, I know that when when I fall in love, accepting his shortcomings SHOULD NOT feel like settling such as accepting his reasons for his negative qualities or  giving up on my current lifestyle to accommodate to his. In fact his vices should be able to be accepted by me as a virtue, else the person would definitely be another strike-off.

I know holding out may seem like a major gamble because settling is the safest bet to give myself the security that I needed and to be showered with attention for I’m someone who might be a little afraid of being alone (or perhaps should it be the emptiness…hmm). Age is also probably one of the major concern as getting older year after another,  with everyone around suddenly becomes attached, I might panic and even start doubting myself on my attractiveness. Still, there won’t be any likelihood of me prioritizing being in a relationship over the quality of that potential someone. If I were to be dating someone who makes me uneasy about going long-term with him, then I’ll rather choose to let go of this mediocre someone, and take a riskier bet— TO GO SINGLE.

Being single has its own benefits like being able to allocate all my time to do the things I wanted without having to consider someone else in my decisions. I could be able to spend some time in the supermarket to shop for some groceries or even a day at the gym or leaving my phone untouched to watch a movie on Putlocker. I could also spend my money where I deemed appropriate like spending on pole classes, saving it for my budget travels and splurge on myself during special occasions. I even managed to put some ticks to my goals and checklists such as travelling alone to another country, working at a bar in Bikini, and most importantly, learning to be independent, strong and figured out that I was actually pretty good at planning and being road savvy. It allowed me to foster a even stronger bond with my bffs like Siru and creating new friendships with others because I always believed that friendship is worth investing my time in for they are the ones who would be willing to lend their listening ears when your families are not around.

Yes, I may not have fallen in love or settle with someone, but I fell in love with life. I fell in love with my new hobbies, learning to relive my  life again once more, learning to stand up after my grandma’s departure and even realizing my new quirks. I had the chance to figure out things out of my comfort zone and appreciating them on my own. I’m glad for this solitude as I wouldn’t be able to unlock my new achievements and goals if I had settled for just anyone that came along. 😀

 

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Never settle for anything less than what you deserve, it’s not pride but self respect.

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Another May 18th

Happy Birthday to me. YEAH, AWESOME, FANTASTIC.

Meh. It doesn’t have this celebratory atmosphere once you pass the mark of 21st, birthday would then be like just another ordinary day where you wake up brush your teeth and start your daily activities.

It’s a wednesday this year and initially it was planned to have some awesome drinking time at night but somehow I wasn’t in the mood to do so again. I promised grandma to visit her tomb every of my birthday and so I did.

I woke up early and took a bus to the temple, it started pouring pretty heavily, seems like a gloomy start of the day. Once I reach her tomb, I simply started crying real badly. Although there wasn’t anyone in the columbarium but me, it doesn’t matter. My sobbing sounds filled up the empty silence of the area. Oh wells. 😦

On my way home, I felt really depressed and emotional because grandma’s death anniversary happens to be 5 days ahead of my birthday…there’s just this long moment of silence. Until Siru texted me to ask me out for dinner. They decided to go for Kbbq at SOTA and insisted that I had to go along although I wasn’t willing to.

It took me really long to reach there because I was not willing to step out of the house and kept procrastinating. BUT ultimately, I still made my way there and had delicious Kbbq that made me smell horrible afterwards.

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(Took this photo off the facebook of I’m Kim Kbbq and their food is pretty good I have to admit especially when it’s free-flow!)

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Siru also surprised me with a tiny mango cake, I was indeed truly surprised because she has never did such an act for the whole entire of your friendship history! I was really really really touched!

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Yeah to me for growing older!

Ps, I know I look like I just woke up from bed, didn’t bother dolling up myself because I was truly sad.

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Guess what they got me? A WATCH! I’ve been wanting a slim watch for ages and finally I got my hands to YEAHHH and THANKS ALOT girls!!! I know it cost a bomb but I’m really really thankful. ❤

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I’m really blessed to have you two in my life at this current stage and for the effort and time to select and buy me such a really pretty and pricey birthday gift which I would truly treasure it ALOT, and to spend time with me on my birthday, I’m at a loss for words totally. ALL I WANT TO SAY, is thankyou from the very bottom of my heart. ❤

(Really looking forward to the birthday trip to Phuket on the 29th!)

Rejections

I don’t know how guys are able to handle rejecting someone like a piece of cake because personally, I find myself struggling to find the courage to tell someone that I’m not into them. It’s like standing in between hurting them and not bearing to. I’m really helpless at this. Urgh.

I always find rejecting someone to be a really cruel act, it’s like dashing his/her dreams and hopes, but deep down I know that as much as the truth may hurts, it will not waste their time and hurt someone even more.

But finding the right words, the right time seems like a hard work. I even had to googled on articles and websites on how to reject a guy nicely. I don’t want to be mean disappearing and blocking someone without a trace, it’s just way to immature in handling things. I’m not that of a matured girl either but I just want to be nice, minimize the hurt to the minimum is probably the best I can do right?

Sometimes it may not be that he/she is not good enough for you, it’s just whether the person entered your life at the right timing, or probably if they are able to catch your attention. Being nice isn’t everything. Everyone, anyone can be nice, even a stranger whom you just brushed shoulders with, but it’s about putting in the effort to know more about someone, the enthusiasm;  trying ways to make someone day better, the effort.

Anyway, I kinda side track a little, what I really want to voice out is that I really wish people would be a little more brave, a little more courageous, a little more responsible. If they led someone on, be it intentionally or unintentionally, they have the responsibility to tell the other party that “i’m not into you.” (in probably the nicest way possible).

Where I stayed in: Shenzhen, China

After my first night stay in Hong Kong to catch up some rest from the long tiring budget flight from Singapore, I’m finally in Shenzhen! For Shenzhen, I have booked a hotel near the metro station because it would be more convenient for me to travel via metro than to take their taxi. Since I was going to be mainly shopping in the area of Dongmen, I decided to book a hotel in that area so that I could have easy access to the hotel to unload my shopping bags and then continue on. (I’m such a shopaholic!) Anyway, the hotel that I booked was called:

ZTL Hotel Shenzhen (Previously Days Inn Shenzhen)

Address: 57 Yongxin Street, Jiefang Road, Luohu District, Dongmen, Shenzhen, China

Nearest MTR: Lao Jie Station (Exit D)

My Rate: $65.25 incl. of taxes and gst (Wed)

ZTL Hotel wasn’t the cheapest hotel around in Shenzhen nor in the Dongmen area. There were actually plenty of hotels in Shenzhen with prices less than $100 a night for you to choose from. However, one of the difficulties of booking hotels in Shenzhen is that the Google Maps are not updated and therefore it makes it difficult to actually check where your hotels are located and if they are near any metro stations. (I don’t know why Shenzhen map is not updated…)

Anyway, the hotel location is excellent, once you step out of the station exit, you could easily spot the huge sign which is facing the road, away from the Dongmen Shopping area. The ground floor of the hotel is a huge row of shops and nearby is just H&M flagship store! There is a GongCha store right opposite the hotel with KFC and Macdonalds nearby as well.

As for the service, the front desk staff was bad and rude. When I wanted to check in to the hotel, they claimed that they did not block any room for me because they did not receive any booking information, until later when one of the staff admitted that she did receive but misunderstood the word “confirmation” as “cancellation”. (OMG SERIOUSLY?!) Then they randomly gave me a low floor room on the 3rd floor when I requested for a high floor. I was totally pissed. (If I were to be staying in that hotel for a few nights, I’ll probably ask for a room change but since it was a night, I decided to forgo about it. Damn…)

The superior room was definitely bigger than the size of a standard room in Hong Kong and it felt really awesome. The bed was a queen and it was super soft and comfortable. I LOVE THE BED! However, the aircon was super cold and no matter how much I tried to adjust the temperature, it just doesn’t seemed to work beside turning off the aircon completely, which made me gasping for air because of the stuffiness. The mini fridge in the room was totally spoilt as well and it was super smelly when I open it, NEARLY PUKED, I swear!

Overall, I guess the hotel is good for a one night stay if you are planning to do some one day crazy shopping  in Dongmen area, else there are plenty of good hotels in Shenzhen with similar pricing for you to choose from and better service and facilities available.

He made his grand entrance, but left like a wind.

“When you finally met someone of your dreams, you will never cherish him/her until you lose it,

would you then come to the realization that this person is the best and no one else is comparable to him/her.”

~Yun

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(A little sprinkle of magical fairy dust…)

The multicoloured lights, the acoustic music with the DJ spinning and the jam-packed dance floor, amidst the crowd was this group of guys that was right beside me dancing and cheering for each bass drop. They did not really stand out as on my left there was a similar group of them, and likewise in front, the back and everywhere, until my eyes met his… his fit muscular build that represented security, his straight white teeth when he let out a smile when our eyes met and those gorgeous set of eyes, they were simply sparkling and standing out among the crowd. It was charm.

For a short brief moment, while the crowd was busy, pumping their fists in the air, cheering for the good spin of music, we continued looking at one another, despite the awkwardness, our eyes were just locked to each other, and then the surroundings started to distant itself, like the two of us were in another world. It felt magical.

And, that was how I met him.

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Present day:

He no longer existed in my world and that despite the beautiful night with all the magical moments, it was just like every other night, gone in a flash and in turn, became part of my memories. His humour, his loyalty, his patience was what I adore for. Nonetheless, it was his charming cute smile that melted my heart, something that made my heart skipped a beat and pound slightly faster.

Sometimes, even though I may wish that I have never had met him, which resulted in not being able to forget about his presence and holding on to that tiny little hope that someday, another magical moment might just occur again. Yes, it was silly, but it was never easy to forget someone that I had spend great quality time together.

Occasionally, the public, the strangers, people that might just brush past my shoulder might have some cast resemblance to him. He was like a completed piece of jig saw puzzle, the characteristics that the others might have, like his broad shoulders reminds me of the time he place my lethargic head on his shoulders to rest, the cute smile that once melted my heart, and somewhat, all these little tiny details form the complete image of him and although these tiny details can be found in others, things weren’t the same anymore. No matter how I try, there can’t be an exact replica of him.

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Even though I may understand this, I just simply can’t forget, it is just too hard, way out of my capability to do so.

A Friend or A Love?

Life always give people shit test and that sometimes there are just no way to have a win-win situation and that if you are force to make a decision to choose between a years-long friendship or a new relationship which would you pick?

A years-long friendship, is probably someone you have known for many years and that she/he would have know you inside out, what kind of person you are and understands you.

A new relationship, is probably a guy/girl that you have recently known and you could or maybe have the slightest crush on him/her or you two have already been on a steady friendship and date and it’s time to take a notch higher.

However, this time your best friend comes in and decides that this guy/girl is probably not suitable for you, and make several attempts behind your back trying to break you up and let the guy/girl leaves you silently or simply vanish without a word. Somewhat, you managed to find out what happen and that it is time you make an action.

To lose a friend who thinks that he/she may be doing the right thing for you or to believe your friend and lose the guy whom you have been going out for a period of time that your life is needy of him to be your source of humour, entertainment and security.

What would be your decision?

My New Clique!

Clique comes and go, just how friends come and go as time passes by with all the life events taking place. You would join new cliques and leave the old ones behind and soon after, those friends whom you were once very close with become less significant in your life and the new ones in your clique move up in your ranking.

I used to have a clique from school whom I once very close with but however with all the change in classes, school work and internship, we drifted apart from very close friends who could discuss anything to people whom you talk to regarding school work. It is indeed very saddening because as much as you try to, there is no way you can relive those happy moments and the strong friendship bond that you once had.

However, throughout this period, beside meeting my new friend Pam, I got to know of these 3 lovely girls, maybe one of them you might have known before, but the four of us makes really good friends.

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ImageOn the far left is Glad, followed by Glenda and my god mummy, Karen!

Perhaps you might be wondering why am I addressing Karen, God-mummy? It was meant to be a joke or maybe some role-playing since she is the more matured one in our clique. I am her God-daughter and Glad is my God-sister. Where’s our God-daddy? Still in the midst of searching…

So how did we actually know each other?

In one of the funniest places you would ever think of, somewhere where it is not possible for friendship to foster. I know it’s tough, yes, our friendship started out in a club. From a friend introducing us to one another and then introducing to more new friends, that is how we actually ended up knowing each other. 

Of course, since our friendship started out because of clubbing, our common activity is to head to club and enjoy ourselves. Nevertheless, besides just clubbing, we do hang out together most of the time when our schedules allow us to, or simply we would try to make time for one another. It isn’t easy especially when Karen is working, I am near graduating and the other two girls, Glad and Glenda are still in their Year 2 or soon-to-be Year 3. 

In fact, it has been really amazing how our friendship grew so well and that we barely even had any quarrels with one another. They have been the best girls and clique that I hang out with most of the time and hopefully unlike those past friendships, this clique will last as long as it would take, even if we grow older, more mature and clubbing no longer become our main focus, we would still be able to maintain the friendship and way of communication just like presently.

They have been the best, and they just make my each day a little bit more interesting~